There’s more than one way to move… So, I’m always beavering away At my dam that bends the river Far, far away from the foot of the…

Tom Brady keeps a portrait of him… that is becoming progressively more likable

Gracious me! Now that college Has become a finishing school There are no starter homes

If it can’t be fixed but it must be fixed it stands to reason that you should keep trying the easy fix

The United States’ motto is still In God We Trust but everyone knows that’s come to mean Don’t Get Your Hopes Up

People will only tell the truth when they think they can get away with it For example, perjury laws only wor… by publicly threatening jail time

There’s nothing you can say to me that I haven’t already ignored

When your mind is transparent Your body becomes invisible Because once they’ve made certain You’re thinking all the right thou… They’ll never give you another tho…

Women are attracted to men who tak… Because it’s the best possible clu… That he would risk his life for he…

Like a real life Picture of Dorian Gray my hair stays full even as my act wears thin

Questions are the an– swer to everything; now, how can I assist you

Carry a pen, should you need to write “Note to self: Congratulations!”

The only way to know you’re not paranoid is to stay connected at all times so you can rest assured

Now you only get to choose which hill you’re going to comply on

An overreaction used to tell you who was guilty Now it’s just another link in