I was painting by the numbers But mysteriously One number kept coming up So, I spent the remainder of my y… Working on a series of one paintin…
Living in the Information Age is… looking at a Pointillist painting but you can’t connect the dots
The difference between A garden variety bullshitter And a bullshit artist Is that bullshitting is easy But a bullshit artist
We have achieved the classless society: eve– rything is tacky
Why bother keeping score when death assures that things always end in a tie Soon you’ll be able to get rid of death
There are neither good people nor normal people just people who are good at sticki…
Seeing as I’m just the messenger It would be easier to tell you Than to show you Because words are all I’ve got But since, if I told you
The funny thing is if you’re continually nervous about getting into a wreck you become a nervous wreck and then
Excuse me, Are you still Taking excuses?
I have half a mind to lose my mind and half a mind to find God The question, natch
People used to kill the goose that laid the golden egg because they wanted more gold
Asked for his thoughts on God the materialist replied Nothing doing The mystic said Exactly
God is hard to know– That’s how you know He is God And how He knows you care Whereas the devil doesn’t care How you found him
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and antisemitism
A charmed half-life is the time taken to lower your expectations to half their original value
