If you want to win friends and inf… Find out what they care about (This is easy) Ask them about it (This is significantly harder)

For now American democracy such as it is is still getting the people it deserves

Both my parents were tall and I ended up a shrimp Not coincidentally, my diet has al… largely consisted of pink flamingo… though scientists insist that it’s…

All forms of certainty are mutations of knowing that you must die which is why the true believer is always the most likely

When I caught my wife cutting up… she said it was to prevent birds getting stuck in them like six-pac…

Smile and the whole world smiles with yo… Laugh and the whole world smiles with yo… Cry

If the honeymoon is over And things have gone leaden Rejoice, you have a lot of work to… Which is known as the golden age

The sixth extinction was hardest of all on the balloon animal artists

For our civilization to function everyone must be willing to meet at the disappointed hour where if you’re not five minutes t… you’re early

The three-body problem For example, the motion of the Mo… As disturbed by the Sun Is insoluble As in unpredictable

I am simultaneously purging while binge watching TV on my Gal… by ignoring my wife and kids

The Matrix is man-made And women have to live there Though, being closer to God They have one foot out the door Which is why it’s said

We spend our whole lives going in… Our mistake is believing that we’r… When we’re always either Slowly spiraling upwards Or caught in a downward spiral

It’s capitalism after it shed its skin

I tried using my get out of jail free card but the CVV on the back was Roman Numerals for eleven