When I picked candy apples as my… (think spirit animals for foodies) I honestly had no idea I was naturally sweet but laid it on way too thick

God is one And God is the one that got away But God is still the one that’s got a way

To avoid road rage all rearview mirrors have been replaced by screens displaying a real-time computerize… of the way things ought to be

If things feel prearranged it’s because you’ve already rearranged

When people say I live on my phone I wonder how they withstand the pr… Of eight tons per square inch

The less you need to control the more powerful you

Because there is no I in lions, if a lion could talk, it couldn’t say I Which is to say, a lion can starve but never lacks,

God looks down and sees all of His good kids making bad choices God is one but decides to speak to us

Instead of shooting bullets into t… to celebrate I raise my leaf blower towards the… On blue moons I do this from my jet ski

I may look like a tall glass of water but be– ware, I’m half empty

The epic poem for this epoch will have to say the most with the least

An army marches on its stomach but it convoys on its internal combustion engine Still, the way to

Instead of the invisible hand bending self-interest towards the collective good we got the risible glad-hand laughing our selfishness off

If: “The unconscious is structured lik… Then: The ego is structured like a trans… of that language into the mother t…

Everyone wants to drive a wedge between the monotheists and the Da… when the only real difference is that the former believe this land was made for you and me