I won’t rest ‘til O– prah puts me on the cover of her magazine

Coffee is for the middle-aged; we need both to shit and get shit done

You will know You are in the fight of your life When fighting it Is more important Than winning it

I used to say Nothing to see here but now that I’ve embraced transparency there really is

Ever since I got my first smartphone it feels like I’m visiting a museum and all the decent human beings

I wear black socks On the outside Because black is how I feel In the onside

They couldn’t have been more obvio… in their preparations for the surp… trusting that I was the type loathe to ruin my own surprise

I’ve never won an argument with my wife but since I learned to let her have the last word I’ve consistently covered the spre…

All words are defined by other words except for God’s rule

The fear of God is hard to define… Like many things You know it when you see it Which is whenever you witness some… Summon the courage to do what must…

You will only find happiness when the answers to the questions What would you do if you knew you… and What would you do if you knew you…

It all clicked for me when I realized that Hebrew School Is a party school

Bureaucracy’s biggest sin Is malingering as democracy– Bureaucracy sees the will of the p… As a form of madness But pretends to follow the will of…

The days of having a cold spell have given way to the era of casting a cold spell

One woman’s sunk cost is another woman’s sunken treasure