If you made a Venn Diagram of my office and a coal mine the only thing you’d put where the… is the canary we keep by the copie… If the canary is dead
Questions are the an– swer to everything; now, how can I assist you
I can never remember street names navigating strictly by landmarks taking left turns just past abandoned doughnut shops impugning me to keep my marriage
In the last stage of capitalism the rich will be ascetics
The universe is always asking By chance, do you have a creative…
My corner of the internet may be infinitesimally small Not even a grain in a brick in the wall Yet still I’m a part
In a bit of irony the only thing that both sides can agree on is that a win-win is intolerable
You can tell that the far right Borg and the far left Borg are one Borg because Donald Trump
A class marker is always written in permanent marker; in a classless society the permanent marker
I’ve been running the numbers and the running joke that we’re running the show will keep everyone running in plac… until they all start running for t…
You can’t believe without doubt But if you only believe in doubt Then you’re doubting doubt Which is like Exhaling and exhaling
If you’re going to take sick leave… take FMLA
Notice how the giraffe evolved so that its neck is precisely long… to reach the water when it bends d…
It’s not a real collection Unless It’s unsatisfying It’s not real money Until
Only a poet Can accurately describe anything More accurately A poet can describe anything Except himself
