My grandfather built his house With his own hands And yet later in life Cut off half his thumb with a chai… If Alanis Morissette is right
Life is a test but I’d been treating it like a quiz– which is a preparation for a test– under the assumption that when I d…
If we know our physics is real Because GPS works Then we know our God is real Because language works
Somewhere between 27% and 53% of… none of which students can legally… is wasted Let’s split the difference and call it 40%
A man without an enemy is like a vampire with a reflection
Both my parents were tall and I ended up a shrimp Not coincidentally, my diet has al… largely consisted of pink flamingo… though scientists insist that it’s…
They let Potter get away with any… but somehow I get expelled for flo… that a wizard can’t have the same… even though zero (magic) is only half as large as double ze…
Service is inevitable; it’s why we… And there are three kinds There is serving others Because they control you– This is slavery
If things feel prearranged it’s because you’ve already rearranged
Life is simple; the meaning of life is complicated As a man I’m a simple creature but I’ve been married long enough… that women are complicated
My wife wears her heart on her sle… Yet remains a total mystery– How can she be so sure? I’m sure I don’t know But sure enough
All dressed down with nowhere to go
Thinking that the purpose of life… things looked good enough on the s… to believe that my life was 24-karat gold Who knew that the purpose of beaut…
The lion hasn’t lain down with the lamb if, in its slumber the lion dreams it’s a lamb
Funny how as the left lost its sense of humor it became a joke
