You can’t call timeout in soccer But you can fake an injury You can’t call timeout in life But you can fake yourself out By believing you’ve faked us all o…
I have a bad habit of predicting the future; it has kept me alive but only to fight another day And yes, my brain is pattern-seeki…
The path to victo– ry begins with laughing at yourself in defeat
A class marker is always written in permanent marker; in a classless society the permanent marker
A memory hole should be just deep enough to bury yourself up to the neck– Any deeper
One party rule Finally clicked in America When the ruling party rebranded As the Pajama Party
Nobody wants to feel left out And we’ll do anything to stay in Which is why most people have inni… Right by their guts Because trusting your gut
All dressed down with nowhere to go
Civilization is an attempt to filibuster death
Socialists count on the fact that there are no private languages but there is
There’s no time like the present: Do it now Like, there’s no time like the pre… Do it now, but from an ironic dist… There’s no time to like the presen…
On a scale of one to ten One being the lowest Ten being the highest Rate yourself Then imagine
You can’t put a square peg in a round hole but you can put a JPEG in a memory hole
Women give hints So that men will think It was their idea I’ve never been good at taking a h… But I’m good at following orders
If husbands were like pro basketball players I’d be an all star but one with an exceptionally low trade value
