You could say I tried stand-up but for the audience it was more like when the flight attendant demonstrates how to put on your own oxygen mask…
Socialism insists You should want what you need Capitalism connives To make you need what you want When in truth
Unlike Saul, when the scales fell from my eyes I learned I was a serpent, sheddi…
A desire Needn’t ever be fulfilled Because in desire I have all That I will ever need
In wristwatch advertisements the doomsday clock is always set to ten past ten
I’m still the kind of person who is shocked that you can run out of gas and run out of luck at the exact same time
The high strung flaneur gives free advice to the good and good advice to the free
There’s always an excuse So, there’s never an excuse For running out of excuses
I was never comfortable in my own skin but I always felt okay in alligator boots
Until the company’s weekend retrea… I didn’t know that my leadership s… was like never having braces but still wearing a retainer
You start out needing money to advance your ideology but you end up mouthing your ideol… to rake in more money
If you made a Venn Diagram of my office and a coal mine the only thing you’d put where the… is the canary we keep by the copie… If the canary is dead
Unsatisfied with natural consequen… human beings concocted perverse in… which is to say where once we were mere mortals now we are self-defeating
Our task is never-ending And our time is limited This is a major source of complain… But consider the opposite possibil… Our work here is done
The reason every man has his price is because he always fails to real… 1. that he can never get what he w… 2. this makes his desire priceless
