I want what you want so I want a cow

When life gives you A bottomless pit Fill it with Bottomless fries

Fox News said it was “Fair and B… which supposedly meant that it was… because it was balanced but really it meant that it was fa… because it wasn’t balanced–

We used to say Hold the phone Metaphorically Because we were about to say somet… Or because we needed to stop and t…

In theory rule by consensus sounds more democratic but in practice it leads to hung juries

Everybody knows that the media is a weapon of mass distraction Social media takes the next logica… as a weapon of mass refraction that distorts our vision beyond re…

The internet wants to tell you a l… Instead, let me tell you a secret: After the Holocaust Antisemitism was buried just deep… That it came to seem an anachronis…

My social medi– a persona is the mime who just won’t shut up

Social media has made the famous so accessible that it’s like you can see the face of… but instead of dying you want to take a nap

The rug saves its harshest critique for the carpet

When people ask me How are you doing? I tell them That’s above my pay grade

Because bodies make a fart joke of… etiquette used to dictate that whe… passed gas at, e.g., a dinner part… the polite thing to do was to pret… the fart never happened

Everything dear to you? You can take all of that and throw it out the Overton window

Because we know we must die and that survival depends on belonging we all live in fear

Business or pleasure? Let’s get down to business and ple… This is also known as Dying happy