With social media You can squeeze All of the people All of the time

In the face of loss I staved off loss of control by gainsaying a loss for words

Optimists dance the two-step: It’s going to get worse before it gets better Pessimists plod

I thought they’d finally say Mea culpa But they still just said Me

When life gives you A bottomless pit Fill it with Bottomless fries

Like many people I have dreams in which I’m flying but in mine I’m always flying

7 in 10 Americans believe in heave… while only 6 in 10 believe in hell which is why the house always wins

We treat life as if Postponing the inevitable When we should be busy Preparing for the inestimable

She went to law school; I bet it all on brick ov– en pita and lost

It takes talent to write a hit pie… but anyone can write a puff piece that in thirty years will read as a hit piece

The worst-case scenario comes true when enough people believe it’s the best case scenario

Every time I screw up God says what He has to say and then He says Over and I always think

If my peccadillos Are mere cigarillos Why is my hide as thick as an arma…

Thinking of happiness as the meaning of life is like thinking of sugar as the meaning of food

Each and every TikTok is a remake of the Zapruder film