Heads I bite my tongue Tails You cut it off
You are a rope which The devil has tied up in knots Only God can help you Untie the knots When you unfurl
My favorite tennis player of all time is the Frenchman Guy Forget because man always forgets
I can never remember street names navigating strictly by landmarks taking left turns just past abandoned doughnut shops impugning me to keep my marriage
They used to give me Birthday presents Now they give me A wide berth
God’s command to cells was slightly different: be fruitful and divide
The left believes that the culture war can be won by winning elections The right believes that the culture war can be won
In the same Talking Heads song the “road to nowhere” is both a “road to paradise” and the way “they can tell you what to… and “make a fool of you”
He was a Murphy’s law and order R… Everyone who can be locked up will be locked up
For those who are real– ly asking, the truth is al– ways multi-tasking
When you have to be rich just to be middle class what do you have to do to be rich? That’s what they call a good quest… And since you have no choice
I thought I could keep the family… until I realized I was the family… So, all the time I was afraid of… the family’s dirty laundry I was already wearing
You can spend your life trying to understand why bad things happen to good people only to learn that good people do bad things
Most tautologies are self-fulfilling prophecies For example: Most people are average But God never met
He was the kind of husband who when his wife asked him to stop sa… complied but started looking for excuses to… panda bear