The answer man is left with a ques… What does a woman want? The question woman is stuck with a… A good man is hard to find but eas…
If you made a Venn Diagram of my office and a coal mine the only thing you’d put where the… is the canary we keep by the copie… If the canary is dead
God is hard to know– That’s how you know He is God And how He knows you care Whereas the devil doesn’t care How you found him
You will know You are in the fight of your life When fighting it Is more important Than winning it
I wear black socks On the outside Because black is how I feel In the onside
In the confession booth I have a confession to make so that I can receive forgiveness In the show trial I have a confession to make up
The people will never accept the f… that the one thing missing from an effective conspiracy is conspir… so they keep looking for the inexi… always expecting to find them
Keep your friends close your enemies closer and your neighbor closest
If you travel through time it’s always the best of times and the worst of times; it’s just the ratio
It could be the truth if it couldn’t go viral But it’s definitely pravda if it speeds our downward spiral
In polite society The most threatening words are alw… I’m disappointed in you Which is politesse for There’s a knife in you
We’re all like unharvested potatoe… covered in dirt thinking that means we’ve got the dirt on each other
We’re told the space between galaxies is expanding but mightn’t the space within galaxies
Love may never win but love always ties
My wife fixed me with a stare that said Really, what haven’t you done for…
