In failing to put the I in team I took the erotic out of neurotic

You seem to have caught me in a gr… But it can’t be at all my fault if As you’ll see in the hieroglyph My back is to the cliff Over which the lemmings drift

It’s taken me this long to underst… like Pee Wee Herman I meant to do that though I’m still unsure why Because as hard as it’s been

The internet is the opposite of th… When a memory is repressed you get it back even though you can’t remember it But when it is memory-holed

The logic of antisemitism Is the very same logic in witch du… When the only way the accused can… As she is dunked under water Is by sinking;

So, how did we survive? We felt God’s Presence OMG, we would have never thought…

Instead of the invisible hand bending self-interest towards the collective good we got the risible glad-hand laughing our selfishness off

To whom it may concern: Time travel is impossible

The mean streets of easy street Lack any meaning– To get there, try going crazy But everybody knows You’d be crazy to try

On the Mt. Rushmore of cartoon mice I would put four Jerrys

Rare earth metals aren’t actually rare They take their name from the rare earth mettle of ardor, courage, and stamina

In the old country song When Mac Davis sings “Oh lord it’s hard to be humble When you’re perfect in every way” I always assumed

Life was once a high-wire act without a net Now it’s tennis without a net

If as according to us their problem is being worse than… at least they can get better But our problem

I believe in the great man theory of history because the good man theory of history is so obviously false