All self-help books boil down to this: You can’t fold a piece of paper more than 7 times but if you could fold it 103 times

I know a guy who knows Paul Simon who told me the real reason for th… was that Paul got sick of Garfunk… stalling for thyme

Living in the Information Age is… looking at a Pointillist painting but you can’t connect the dots

Bureaucracy’s biggest sin Is malingering as democracy– Bureaucracy sees the will of the p… As a form of madness But pretends to follow the will of…

Poets are to their poems As parents are to their children Preparing them for the world Without knowing what they will do

War gave way Not to peace But to endless meetings

You can spend your life trying to understand why bad things happen to good people only to learn that good people do bad things

God doesn’t make mistakes; God makes people People make mistakes And learn from them that God doesn’t make mistakes

If you’ve seen one mirror you’ve seen them all

A civilization can die From a variety of causes– Famine, conquest, madness, etc. In succumbing to boredom Ours will be the first

During the rodeo clown shortage nobody thought that the rodeo mime… but the mimes surprised everyone distracting the bulls by silently evoking the dignity

The jig is finally up When Mr. Cool Goes to shul

Just as He covered 2/3 of the Ear… God made us each 2/3 water To make it obvious But not too obvious That we don’t ever die

We hit it off: she’d declawed her cats and I’d plucked my cacti’s needles

Instead of a scythe the mirthful reaper carried balloo… and we just floated away