01/2005
thought I found it, the joy within
but it seems to take almost nothing
for the negative to seep in.
happiness turns to hatred,
spiralling into everything.
My being feels like bursting,
living seems exhausting
Dwelling into numbness haunts me as the answer,
not anything else.
too easy for it to get me, to take hold
the absolute darkness seems to have control.
too easy for them to bring me down make me feel like less.
Like my soul is brown and my brain is that of a clown
Feel like there’s more to show
but don’t really know
to who or what i must prove
the answers are so aloof
don’t want to be this way, know that I shouldn’t
Trying to change but feel like i couldn’t
can’t stand the anger within, at myself
don’t know where to begin.
