The Cookie Monster is just living up to the name Kermit gave him

In school they put me in the gifted class but as one of my favorite teachers finally put it “There’s just something missing”

God took the risk of betting on us Because He made us to embrace ris… God is betting that we pass our on… What are you willing to risk your… a. Everything

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and antisemitism

Forgetting that God has promised To never repeat the Flood We’ve busied ourselves opening the… Expecting to end it all As we flood the planes

When given the command “Explain yourself” A believer is someone who answers “I have no explanation” In order to explain everything

There are no endings neither happy nor sad– Does this make you happy or sad? I pretend to answer the question by preferring songs that end

The brain is pattern-seeking And it will keep making the same m… Until it sees the pattern for itse…

The smartest gal in the room Is the one who realizes All the adults in the room Are emotional children Behaving like holy terrors

Now that mindfulness is the official state religion the attention economy will be centrally planned

I try to imagine what it was like for my wife when two lines meant positive and the closest I get is when

In days gone by we said you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink In these more opportune times it’s widely understood that

You can’t put a square peg in a round hole but you can put a JPEG in a memory hole

When people meet me they typically think I’m a sensitive guy but later they realize I’m a time sensitive guy

Gracious me! Now that college Has become a finishing school There are no starter homes