The best way to control somebody Is to divide the mind from the bod… Because the body is where the soul…

It’s become harder than ever to be the court jester– you have to use humor to speak

The older I get the less I pause for effect This is because the clock is ticking and I’d rather not waste my time

We’re not in control so we try to take control which leaves us feeling out of con… But it’s because anything can happ… that we can do anything

As the public version of one’s pri… social media is the recurring drea… of showing up at work without any… come true

The left believes that the culture war can be won by winning elections The right believes that the culture war can be won

It’s not that we’ve abolished death but we’ve made it a mere formality

When anything you think Can and will be used against you The purpose of state-funded educat… Will be learning not to think As the doyens of higher learning

People think that the spork didn’t include any aspects of the… because the serrated edge of the prospective all-in-one utensil kept slicing open the focus group…

A man starts out lying for instant gratification Inevitably, this progresses to buy… his unending rationalizations

You and God are like socks– No matter how far apart you get You are still a pair You and God are also like pants– Even though you are forever one

In the act of creating new life men presage their relationship with death

People complain that Jews stick t… In spite of, or, more likely, beca… That it is why Jews are still her… And always will be Jews stick together because

Just as in tennis I play to my opponent’s level in relationships

All of reality is a temptation To believe in yourself But if you do You’ll never get it– Self-confidence is always lacking