If we know our physics is real Because GPS works Then we know our God is real Because language works

If you want a world that isn’t just a bunch of window dressing don’t have a world in which we’re all constantly being window…

The most useful secret agents Are those who don’t know the secre… That they are agents of warfare

When we say something is infinite Say, the universe What we really mean Is that it is unfinished

Coffee is for the middle-aged; we need both to shit and get shit done

For years I sojourned as a humble… Hanging all my hopes On one day emerging as a brilliant… For my moment in the sun Inching ever forward towards the s…

The last stage of wes– tern civilization was groupthink without groups

Many con artists have a moral awakening; even more realize that the only compassionate thing to do is continue the con

I know the world is round from experience: I ran from the truth for so long that I ran smack into it

My wife is philosophically opposed to my habit of justifying things, say a bag of the really good kind… with the phrase: I deserve it

The moment I think It’s beneath me the solid ground collapses into a sinkhole where I remain

I am simultaneously purging while binge watching TV on my Gal… by ignoring my wife and kids

We ask people How are you doing? because it’s the easiest way to prevent them from actually telling us how they are doing

I’ve reached the age where getting ready for bed is like preparing for a spacewalk

In a post-pandemic bid to remain relevant the SATs have removed all true/false questions in acknowledgment that such questi…