The pursuit of fame is the human equivalent of a dog chasing its own tail

When your nuclear family of origin Takes the nuclear option They’ve already gone mad and self-… So, they’re counting on mutual ass… To finish the job

If you take a hot-blooded child and raise him in a cold-blooded cu… don’t be surprised when you get a lukewarm-blooded vulture

And so I wake in the morning and I stay inside and I take a deep breath and I let out a sigh and I stream from the top of my ru…

There are neither good people nor normal people just people who are good at sticki…

In comic books Superheroes assume a secret identi… In order to fool others So they can continue to serve othe… In real life

A mid-life crisis happens when you realize that life is a treadmill which keeps speeding up until you fall off

I can’t guess your age but I can guess your age when you got that tattoo

Living well Means accepting risk Living hell Is risk-free

When they shut down Ringling Bros… a down on his luck clown looked into a second career as a m… but was informed that the mimes were only accepting applications f…

If a computer could speak we could not understand it

The only colleges left standing will be the ones that can make you look smart while you’re playing dumb

The first half of life: Did I say that? The second half of life: I did say that The end of life:

Every time I screw up God says what He has to say and then He says Over and I always think

The difference between God and human beings Is that God gives you what you deserve Which is always what you need