People who enter a plea of I’m sorry if you were offended are bargaining for a sentence of time served reckoning they’ll have got off sco…
The first thing you’re taught is t… you can make some of the people drink Coke all of the time and you can make all of the people drink Coke some of the time but
Our grueling cascade of online spa… Is like the spider’s prey’s strugg… Designed to exhaust us As the spider patiently looks on Motionless
If you count the rings on a tree stump it will tell you the cost of doing business
Of what value Would be my love If I could not Give my life for it Our (patent) pending immortality,…
Seeing as I’m just the messenger It would be easier to tell you Than to show you Because words are all I’ve got But since, if I told you
I’d always said Que sera, sera expecting the last guffaw Instead it’s a last hurrah before one or the other coups d’et…
LL Cool J can’t live without his radio For me, it’s my patio
We went from wearing galoshes over… to wearing galoshes over our shoes… to wearing galoshes as shoes and now we wear galoshes over galo…
Philosophers dream of “The view from nowhere” Granting pure objectivity Instead, we got the internet’s View from everywhere
You could say I tried stand-up but for the audience it was more like when the flight attendant demonstrates how to put on your own oxygen mask…
You can’t break the chain of events but you can break the chain of custody for the chain of events
In the new version of socialism You can own as much property as yo… You just can’t own your mistakes
Raised with reverse psychology– Love your enemy– It was only once The world was turned upside down That I saw things as they really…
I am simultaneously purging while binge watching TV on my Gal… by ignoring my wife and kids
