I don’t get mad I get odd

Life as we know it Is a competition for status In this competition Socialists are unequaled As are you and I

In communist Russia no one wanted to be seen to be the first person to stop clapping for Stalin In America today

In real life we used to say I’ll see your talk and raise you action but that was just too risky Preferring no stakes

Denial leaves a vacuum that is ever filled by wishful thinking

The pursuit of fame is the human equivalent of a dog chasing its own tail

Somewhere between 27% and 53% of… none of which students can legally… is wasted Let’s split the difference and call it 40%

There are no endings neither happy nor sad– Does this make you happy or sad? I pretend to answer the question by preferring songs that end

When we were kids we liked to spell Mississippi out loud for fun but we never pronounced the S’s–

There is only one way to claim moral authority: Convincing others that they are the authority in their own life And based on exhaustive research

Scientists insist that 95% of the… consists of undetectable, unknowab… because this belief makes their ca… Like you and me the little that they do know

Privacy is when everyone can see you but no one is watching Surveillance is when no one can see you

Science was happily letting the cat out of the bag until Schrodinger’s Cat was found in and out of the bag at the same time

I want what you want so I want a cow