My constant sense of dread Was just a case Of perpetual stage fright In a never-ending performance of c… Now that I’ve dropped the act
Social media has made the famous so accessible that it’s like you can see the face of… but instead of dying you want to take a nap
Our souls have a body Our bodies have five senses And we all have a sixth sense That there is no sixth sense Yet we’re left with a sense of sel…
The opposite of bad breath Isn’t good breath It’s fresh breath Because all breath is good So, you never have to hold your br…
A wise man once told me When you don’t know what to do do nothing A wise politician
You have to believe to commit And they think we’re crazy to beli… And would commit us as inpatients If only they had the patience But their patience has worn thin
If we learned anything from the pandemic it’s that people much prefer being left to their own devices over
Hell is a bottomless pit Making the first step towards heav… Hitting rock bottom I’m addicted to control And I’m handing control back to G…
Like Ikea fur– niture, I am difficult to put together
It’s not that we’ve abolished death but we’ve made it a mere formality
When I got to the front of the self-checkout line I assumed there’d be a mirror but to my surprise and delight it was even better than I’d hoped
Catwoman shamed Batman into getting out of the Batmobile… by telling him it was just like ec…
At first moving heaven and earth is its own reward because it’s hell on wheels But self-flagellation
Mehmet Murat ildan is correct when he says “Man has only one face, but a thousand masks” I would only add that
The easiest way to tell that climate change is a new religion is that it allows for plenty of missed deadlines
