For every deep dive into the data there’s a data analyst with the be…

There is no theory of quantum grav… Because– Einstein notwithstanding– No one understands gravity There is no theory of God

Free speech is when you can say anything you want as long as you don’t really believe it

The dictatorship of the professori… uses neologisms to prevent counter elocution and to speed the transition to authentic sophism and the

The never-ending apocalyptic refra… may just be yet another version of death’s denial: The world must be ending

We got the five day work week because that’s how long it takes a python to digest it’s meal

There are two kinds of people in t… Those who believe in God And those who believe in God But also believe in God You can tell the latter

If you want to predict the future determine what is most taken for g… and imagine a world without it I predict a future where words will be replaced

I tried using my get out of jail free card but the CVV on the back was Roman Numerals for eleven

Democracy was superseded not by a police state but by a witness protection progra…

During the rodeo clown shortage nobody thought that the rodeo mime… but the mimes surprised everyone distracting the bulls by silently evoking the dignity

In the new version of Heads I win, tails you lose People hate to be wrong But love to apologize And if you accept their apology

Peanut butter’s not very good by itself but chocolate is Because I’m not very religious it’s important for me

It used to be that We could feed our souls By serving others Or feed our egos By serving ourselves

Ours was the first all you can eat… to earn a coveted Michelin star and I always thought it was becaus… when you ordered the whole enchila… it came with bottomless fries