All cars have always been getaway cars because they tell the world how much you’re getting away with but now all cars are SUVs

You could say I tried stand-up but for the audience it was more like when the flight attendant demonstrates how to put on your own oxygen mask…

There aren’t any lines That you can’t cross– This is called free will But there are lines That you can’t uncross–

God is the storm un– til He becomes your shelter from the storm. Amen

The moment of truth has come and g… Leaving us with the whole truth: The best and worst is yet to come When there will be nothing but the… And you will only know the best fr…

Social media has made the famous so accessible that it’s like you can see the face of… but instead of dying you want to take a nap

There was always an urn on the man… made from terra cotta Little then did I know it was for the remains of the persona non gra…

The Kantian ethic of treating oth… never really took off largely because Immanuel overlooke… rather obvious catchy slogan: Love squanders all

The difference between the Pax Romana and the Pax Americana is that while all roads lead to Rome

When people say I live on my phone I wonder how they withstand the pr… Of eight tons per square inch

I can never remember street names navigating strictly by landmarks taking left turns just past abandoned doughnut shops impugning me to keep my marriage

In days gone by we said you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink In these more opportune times it’s widely understood that

When the panacea for the pandemic was stored inside Pandora’s Box we ended up inside the panopticon

All of our choices Come down to this: We can fear God Or we can fear death

Much like nuclear weapons the whole point of having vacation days is never to use them