In polite society The most threatening words are alw… I’m disappointed in you Which is politesse for There’s a knife in you

The world to come will be Exactly the same But for one startling difference: God’s love will never go unrequite…

Where once man strove to move mountains now he settles for making them

My ego is too big

Imagine the disappointment when we… both wearing Velcro singlets but each fashioned from the softer… with nary a hook between us

Life is a talent show where most everyone is doing bad versions of easy impressions

Some people have baggage; I come with furniture Fortunately, my wife enjoys rearranging

In France everyone thinks Scotch tape is crap

Riddle me this: The Riddler commits crimes of the… By loving each and every one of us… But always leaves clues behind In the form of a riddle

Democracy was superseded not by a police state but by a witness protection progra…

A charmed half-life is the time taken to lower your expectations to half their original value

Beauty is in the eye of the stockholder

The ontological proof tells us It is impossible to doubt God– Any such doubt is proof That we just need to think bigger This much is uncontroversial

My wife wears her heart on her sle… Yet remains a total mystery– How can she be so sure? I’m sure I don’t know But sure enough

Nero fiddles while Rome burns? Fiddle-de-dee! Nero riddles but Rome never learn…