Modern research methods have detec… that there’s no such thing as a ba… leaving scientists puzzled as to w… the whole bunch is still spoiled

Until the company’s weekend retrea… I didn’t know that my leadership s… was like never having braces but still wearing a retainer

Time is money But time stops at the speed of lig… Which means the buck stops, too Making enlightenment the act of ta… For how you’ve spent your time

I am simultaneously purging while binge watching TV on my Gal… by ignoring my wife and kids

When your nuclear family of origin Takes the nuclear option They’ve already gone mad and self-… So, they’re counting on mutual ass… To finish the job

The fruit of the tree of knowledge… Has fully ripened In the form of the internet Which looms large With the promise of looming catast…

You can’t watch sports these days… Father Time is undefeated Which is when I always quote Saul… “Vait a minute. Vat about Rocky…

Our thick skulls are a double-edge… Protecting our fragile brains When we are brained with an actual… Even as we are so hardheaded That the truth about our lust for…

The one path to a sustainable future is understanding that people will only agree to cuts in their standard of livin…

The only ones Who antisemites hate more than Je… Are Jews who defend themselves There is a name For their belief system:

At first everyone was to be followed by a p… to protect us from terrorists or kill us if we were terrorists But then it was decided that

Much of life is boring Which is also why Life is so funny

War gave way Not to peace But to endless meetings

But surely, you’ve noticed by now That all progress is incremental Across increments of time Because all progress is time-bound And the unfolding of time

There’s always been a method to our madness Its latest name is the scientific method The madness is believing in