They used to give me Birthday presents Now they give me A wide berth

I had previously asserted that The only thing bigger than my ego Is God’s plan for me This remains the case But I would add that

Of what value Would be my love If I could not Give my life for it Our (patent) pending immortality,…

My children have no idea they are living through a golden age of comedy

You can’t cut the cord When you are the cord Connecting what you’ve been told y… With How you will inflict that burden o…

We rent an apartment so my wife told me that technicall… I am the interim king of my own ca…

Originally a method for learning from mistakes science had been debased into a tool for sorting right from wrong

The far left puts the silent and invisible H in tolerate Guess where? There’s a clue

I thought my alarm clock woke me up each day but the day I realized it had always been a false alarm was the day I realized

Just as in tennis I play to my opponent’s level in relationships

I always wondered if mimes were a type of clown until having my mind blown by the insight that

People are afraid of change so they change with the times

Theoretically, Schrodinger’s Cat is both alive and dead at the same time In reality, cats have nine lives and one death

I am simultaneously purging while binge watching TV on my Gal… by ignoring my wife and kids

America’s belief system– The show must go on– comes into focus when you suspend disbelief Because it’s not about justice