When Plan A is not having a plan Plan B is not having an exit strategy

Smile and the whole world smiles with yo… Laugh and the whole world smiles with yo… Cry

Most tautologies are self-fulfilling prophecies For example: Most people are average But God never met

I wear black socks On the outside Because black is how I feel In the onside

Yes, humans suck– that’s a universal The reason we haven’t been able to fix it is that being a human doesn’t suck for eve…

For twenty years people kept insis… that there was an elephant in the… but I just didn’t see it And then I realized I was the elephant

I am simultaneously purging while binge watching TV on my Gal… by ignoring my wife and kids

The rug saves its harshest critique for the carpet

I was shunned And all I can think about is What will happen if I am shunned

You cannot beat God in any sport but you can tie Him in bowling

Once the highly educated noticed t… in Buddhism right thought leads to right speech and right ac… it was only a matter of time before Mindfulness became

Thinking of happiness as the meaning of life is like thinking of sugar as the meaning of food

It was all systems go in my search for a new belief syst… until I realized all systems go too far

What if I could just do no wrong Then surely, I’d still get to bel… Perforce, I did nothing And found myself bluffing Whenever I needed to be strong

Imagine the disappointment when we… both wearing Velcro singlets but each fashioned from the softer… with nary a hook between us