In failing to put the I in team I took the erotic out of neurotic

My wife now relates to me very much as she does to stinky cheese

I may look like a tall glass of water but be– ware, I’m half empty

Is being a conformist without a cause enough to qualify me as an antihero

The rug saves its harshest critique for the carpet

We hit it off: she’d declawed her cats and I’d plucked my cacti’s needles

You can only make a difference in the face of indifference

My wife fixed me with a stare that said Really, what haven’t you done for…

For years I sojourned as a humble… Hanging all my hopes On one day emerging as a brilliant… For my moment in the sun Inching ever forward towards the s…

Desperate to identify new funding… We gambled that a steady stream of… Would flow to those whose stream o… Forebode the worst downstream effe… So, we began livestreaming the fut…

I may not be the man who has everything but I’m the man who knows what to get for the man who has everything

Imagine what the mannequins say to… as they go their separate ways fro… as each ships out from the factory A religious mannequin says: There, but for the grace of God,…

In families adept at keeping open secrets no one expects you to state the obvious

This is the stage in history where we all give constructive cri… to the demolition crew

You can’t watch sports these days… Father Time is undefeated Which is when I always quote Saul… “Vait a minute. Vat about Rocky…