I’m still the kind of person who is shocked that you can run out of gas and run out of luck at the exact same time

Ours was the first all you can eat… to earn a coveted Michelin star and I always thought it was becaus… when you ordered the whole enchila… it came with bottomless fries

I’m getting much better at recognizing my wife’s subtle hi… like when she recently put mosquit… over her side of the bed

And then it hit me: My lone flaw is not admitt– ing to any flaws

I will gladly suffer fools for love

Shakespeare said “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely p… But who is the audience? After all, we’re not performing

Let good intentions be my sword and naivete my shield

The free food programs during the pandemic were great So, to compensate people began to ration love

People understand that their socia… depends on their phone but they wrongly believe that the existential question at h… is the familiar

My psychic told me I needed to ta… I said I already knew that I came here to look before I leap

We are all problem children Our problem is Everything we do is done to get a… As if every action doesn’t come wi… An equal and opposite reaction

Everything dear to you? You can take all of that and throw it out the Overton window

Theoretically, Schrodinger’s Cat is both alive and dead at the same time In reality, cats have nine lives and one death

Slow and steady wins the race because there isn’t any finish line

If you want to remain married one partner should stay busy moving the goalposts while the other focuses on running out the clock