Promise Me-
I have’nt gotten to that point yet,
Wherein i am so comfortable speaking to you
That i go on without a second line of questioning thoughts in my head..
Wherein im not scared that you would dislike the person that hides and crawls the walls in my mind
There isnt exactly a sweet little child walking through yellow brick roads in my mind
Its more like a havoc reeking messy creature,
Jumping over boxes and different corners
In that multi dimensional space frame of a maze
That is continuously shifting and rearranging..
Only it can access and navigate through the maze
Somedays even i am at a loss of where it stands.
So when i finally move the curtains for you to peek into the uncomprehending mess of my mind frame
Will you promise you won’t step back, nor treat me different?
When the boxes of each subject in my mind
Are like heavy crates on an industrial ship
Sailing through the most roughest of waters
Dancing all across the deck, banging into railings
Almost tipping over, drenched, & pouring into one another–
I need to speak. Speak all my thoughts out to let there be a breathing room, for others to be processed.
Will you listen to me even then, the way you do now?
And then when after the current events,
I share my thoughts on life, love, you and the existence of time through it all–
Would you love the madness in me? Call me beautiful still?
My English teacher once taught me as a little girl,
There is a difference in being called pretty, & beautiful.
Oh surely you must understand, what it means to me when you call me beautiful in the middle of our conversations–
To say beautiful, is a reflection on a whole,
And not just the body that holds my spirit.
To be called beautiful by you, makes me feel loved to know that you adore all of me,
not just my eyes, but the insanity you see behind them;
Not just my lips, but the passion you feel as you kiss them
I want to get to that summit with you,
Like our many walks to the different peaks
I want to feel so safe around someone,
That i become more true to my self than i ever was–
And i wish for that someone to be you!
i want to tell you how i feel, each instant that i think of you
well that would be a lot of hours of my life left idle these days,
left idle, physically, the creature in my mind is goofing around in silliness
all over the thoughts of you, and feeling loved, the sight of hope. Romance.
Oh how stupidly this mind craves romance, like it would suffice my existence.
dont worry though, this time i am wiser,
i wont burden you with my hopeless romanticism of little things,
but i’ll surely gush over them, but then again surely,
this mind is a bit more in control this time -
I’ll walk with you, on our individual paths, till fate allows us to.
holding your hand as tightly as i can, for as long as i can.
please hold me. Safe and warm in those strong arms of yours,
be the man i believe you are, to the woman you call me to be.
So, Will you please promise me that you’d stay?
