That moment when you reclassify yourself from a mystery to an unsolved mystery
I was the first ever lobster discovered in the wild with a rubber band around my claw clamping it shut
The surest way to know That God is always there for us Is that we always have a choice This is why religion and liberalis… Are a match made in heaven
Al Gore didn’t invent the internet He created a device for the reinforcement of irrational thoughts and behaviors
My constant sense of dread Was just a case Of perpetual stage fright In a never-ending performance of c… Now that I’ve dropped the act
Unlike the erstwhile folks in acco… AI has a balance sheet for taste and determined that after their recent depreciation all jokes are in poor taste
In a real life version of the ugly duckling discovering h… I was the reject popsicle stick who at long last found out I was a handy tongue depressor
The funny thing is if you’re continually nervous about getting into a wreck you become a nervous wreck and then
Average academics Have a pet theory Dominant academics Have a pet theory about pet theori…
One of my favorite Peloton instru… Said the following: “You don’t get stronger during the… You get stronger when you recover” By workout I take him to mean
If only hate were but bone deep we could bury it with the bones But hate is buried deep in the sou… with which it reincarnates like a perennial crop of invasive…
The internet is the opposite of th… When a memory is repressed you get it back even though you can’t remember it But when it is memory-holed
The universe is a kinetic watch so time only keeps going if we’re on the move making Zeno’s paradox of motion just a way of reassuring ourselves
Instead of a Che Guevara t-shirt I have a Carol Burnett henley
We are only here for a short time So, you might ask What are we for? Believe it or not, we are for God Doubling down
