No one wanted to wear augmented reality goggles until our design team hit upon the idea of making them look
Denial was a lot easier when your head was in the clouds but your memories were stored on microfiche
We thought we had finally notched… by confronting Father Time with the paradox of our times when self-defeating is the new win… but we can’t win for losing
Liberalism can be confused with ni… where you have to believe in nothi… or with Unitarian Universalism where you’re encouraged to believe… as much of everything as you like
My matchmaker couldn’t find me any… but she suggested I go to the bing… and focus on the woman who played the most cards per game
We are all of us unreliable narrators Some of us just make a living at it
In failing to put the I in team I took the erotic out of neurotic
From where I was situated There was no room to maneuver In the situation room And everybody else found themselve… In the same situation
Knowing that everyone agrees you remind them of indoor furniture on the porch tells you nothing about what each of them thinks of you
When life gives you A bottomless pit Fill it with Bottomless fries
What looks like the wreckage of my life is just my crumple zone doing its job
I know I’m losing an argument with my friends when my thoughts turn to lunch I know I’m winning when I’m about to lose my lunch
My ego is too big
The narcissist is a two—sided coin… Heads, I need you Tails, I hate you– and the more you meet a narcissist… the more they will hate you
You’re not allowed to copy from your neighbor because you’re supposed to copy from your teacher