The day I found out I was as deep as a basket of botto… was the same day I learned that the problem with fishing for compl… is that you can’t throw them back

The devil is in the details And God is in my feelings Here are the details on my feeling… I feel like The devil is just here to force th…

By hook or by crook I do it all by the book

We think of death As the worst-case scenario But what if In the best-case scenario Death is the answer to a question?

The New Revised Standard Version… A frenemy of yours is a frenemy of… whereas the New King James Versi… The frenemy of my frenemy is my fr…

Heads I bite my tongue Tails You cut it off

I know I think, Therefore I am All knowing Unless

My wife wears her heart on her sle… Yet remains a total mystery– How can she be so sure? I’m sure I don’t know But sure enough

Your ego never knows it’s there Until you greet it Which you do By addressing the other

Our glass Is an hourglass And whether it is half-full Or half-empty Time is running out

In the past walking into a cathedral made you feel small Now it makes you feel fat

There are only two real superpowers: unacknowledged plagiarism and begrudging cooperation

Thanks to his bifocals Ben Franklin could see that while we might look like bald… up close we’re clearly turkeys

Everyone wants to drive a wedge between the monotheists and the Da… when the only real difference is that the former believe this land was made for you and me