The most hellish aspect of hell is how some of the people there don’t mind it at all

If life is the in-breath and death the out-breath we presume that by ridding ourselves of death we’ll live an infinite in-breath

I always like to know where I stand and I always bring an umbrella that can double

I’m not afraid of jumping in front of a bus because I don’t want to jump in front of a bus I am afraid of

They call it open heart surgery But no one says open brain surgery Because, by default Our minds are closed And the only way to change minds

How do I love me? Let me count t… I love me to the depths of my stom… and when in line in front of a lum… I’ll take the last fried rice in t… I love me to the level of Wall St…

The annoying thing about blenders Is how loud they are But then again My mouth functions as a blender And I’m a loudmouth

My children have no idea they are living through a golden age of comedy

It turns out that the afterlife is only as long as you can keep the exit interview go…

The only way to know you’re not paranoid is to stay connected at all times so you can rest assured

When I run out of things to do I write an itinerary: When all else fails fill sandbags to convert

Make no bones about it I can’t feel a thing in my bones So, I reach for my phone

There were 102 passengers on the… So why only 101 dalmatians?

Privacy is when everyone can see you but no one is watching Surveillance is when no one can see you

I always thought it didn’t matter if human beings really had free will as long as they experienced the wo… as if they did;