My whole life, I thought I’d done… Duly deputized by the law of the l… As enforced by the superego, for w… But due to unforeseen circumstance… When instead of always being due f…

In Putin’s version of Let’s Make… he shows you what’s behind Door #1… - You let Putin run you through w… AND what’s behind Door #2: - You fall on your sword to atone…

In wristwatch advertisements the doomsday clock is always set to ten past ten

It’s come to my attention that My attention span is limited By what I want to see And like most people these days I don’t know what I want

Those who show no compunction are the most gifted at seduction and short of a permanent injunctio… we all face induction by way of their unction

As a start Put your mouth where your money is… This is called telling the truth But, of course Telling the truth

The smartest gal in the room Is the one who realizes All the adults in the room Are emotional children Behaving like holy terrors

Yes, I am most afraid of losing c… But you can’t lose what you don’t… So, I’m afraid of nothing Which is how you die alone The only way to live together

2/3 of the Earth Is covered by water So, most of the underground Is under water Accordingly, in dreams

The distance between zero and one is infinitely greater than the distance between one and infinity

My wife now relates to me very much as she does to stinky cheese

The number one cause of divorce Is holding a grudge We are divorced from reality Because we hold a grudge against t… We resent the truth

People need to be a part of someth… And light is both a particle and a… Surfing, then, is a mystical union… But the internet is a tsunami And surfing the web a death wish

I believe in God and I believe in liberalism The tension between these two beliefs

Some people say They were born too late; I was almost born too soon But then along came the internet Just in time to stop time–