A fair competition Is one in which No one can win So that everyone Has an equal chance
The three most powerful words in the English language are not I love you; they are So be it
One party rule Finally clicked in America When the ruling party rebranded As the Pajama Party
The ego always has three choices: 1. It can listen to the id and do what it wants to do 2. It can listen to the superego a… what it is supposed to do
I had just started explaining smar… When the alien stopped me in mid-s… And explained smart phones to me Originally, in order to monitor an… They were just going to attach
You can’t give people the benefit of the doubt if you’re incapable of doubting yourself
During the rodeo clown shortage nobody thought that the rodeo mime… but the mimes surprised everyone distracting the bulls by silently evoking the dignity
In this world The greatest pleasure Is always anticipation: Moshiach is coming!
There’s no time like the present: Do it now Like, there’s no time like the pre… Do it now, but from an ironic dist… There’s no time to like the presen…
In the beginning There is a darkness in which All you can see are the others But then you have time To find God
My shampoo is nine– ty nine percent natural, as if that were enough
When Eddie Money said “I’ve got two tickets to paradise” he didn’t mention that the paradise sales team only sells tickets in pairs
What looks like the wreckage of my life is just my crumple zone doing its job
The most surprising aspect of the… though perhaps it shouldn’t have b… was the amount of paperwork it gen…
We live in an age when the greatest danger is an excess of caution
