In cyberspace We play Simon Says In an endless repetition of Repeat after me In the world to come

I’m the kind of guy Who doesn’t ride a motorcycle But always wears a leather helmet

She went to law school; I bet it all on brick ov– en pita and lost

Can’t buy me love but you can buy me likes

If husbands were like pro basketball players I’d be an all star but one with an exceptionally low trade value

Like anything else immortality has its pros and cons: Our chickens never come home to ro… but our cows never come home eithe…

Each and every TikTok is a remake of the Zapruder film

At this late juncture All eating is competitive eating But in the world to come All competition will be An excuse for a feast

Everybody knows The pen is mightier than the sword But few understand That it’s because The pen is a lightsaber

Step up to bat– It’s you against the world First base– Doubt yourself Second base–

You have a real life if there are no easy solutions You have a real problem if there are no easy solutions but there is an easy way out

If we had our druthers We would be insufferable Instead, we suffer As if desire were a curse And not our saving grace

The hardest thing to face is that your dreams won’t come tru… unless your fears come true first

Lunch is born free but everywhere is in chain restaurants

We talk about current times But time is a current That gives us our power We hate death Seeing it as the loss of all power