The number one cause of divorce Is holding a grudge We are divorced from reality Because we hold a grudge against t… We resent the truth
My psychic told me I needed to ta… I said I already knew that I came here to look before I leap
My analyst says I want to have my cake and put it in a time capsule too
A record sounds the same every time you play it A broken record is intolerable because it isn’t broken, it’s just…
When you first arrive in hell they… Get comfortable, you’re going to b… Which is exactly how they hold on…
People will only tell the truth when they think they can get away with it For example, perjury laws only wor… by publicly threatening jail time
The last stage of wes– tern civilization was groupthink without groups
No sooner were the gates free of b… than we’d paired off and squared off as fascists vs. totalitarians And as for the dissidents not spoi…
We spend most of our waking lives alternating between procrastinatio… and delayed gratification as if by putting things off we’ve bought ourselves more time
Democracy is a game of bridge where each coalition must partner… and going for broke requires not just suicidal risk but a suicide pact,
The first half of life Is spent waiting for the inevitabl… But inevitably, you get distracted… Because a watched pot never boils The second half of life
There are only two real superpowers: unacknowledged plagiarism and begrudging cooperation
Miss Suzie had a scapegoat The scapegoat was Hillel Miss Suzie went to heaven The scapegoat went to Hello terminator
It’s always darkest before the yawn
Unlike Saul, when the scales fell from my eyes I learned I was a serpent, sheddi…
