I put out a comedy album Side A was called Wins Side B was called Losses Only one side was funny

Some people are orchids Some people are dandelions Some people like the ugly duckling are orchids who think they’re dand…

If you pursue any vice long enough you’ll either become bored or addi… scratch that– you’ll either become bored and qui… or bored and addicted

There is a place Where children are to be seen And not heard Where all the children are raised To keep up appearances

Guilty, I’d pled when left for dead for what I had said but as the undead squeezed my bonehead

Power is a measure of the capacity to cope with our lack of control and in wielding our power to take control

The difference between your superego and God is that your superego says You must, but you can’t leaving you with worlds of guilt

If, as is said Fatigue is the enemy of courage Then the greatest strength is stam… And the genesis of stamina Is constant exertion

The One Ring had it backwards The one thing that bestows power is

My astrologer credited her work wi… for the discovery of a thirteenth… Jello the Jellyfish which shares the sting of my erstw… but is distinguished by a spineles…

There are no atheists in foxholes; the world is a foxhole

As human beings Every last one of us Is trying to get away with somethi… So, give thanks to God– He will never let us get away

My wife– All 5 feet of her– Busted me out of prison So that I could get back To a life of time

The stapler inevitably jams And it’s always the stapler That jams the copier Except for the times it jams When you try to copy something you…

Brexit is a fantasy that a people who previously sat astride a global empire can now sit apart from globalizati… when in reality