In Code
Fascinatingly enough..
written in June 2022
Its true I tend to speak in code
when emotions are stronger than before
if what I say needs translation
just look at me for something more
I walked right into a mirror without seeing it coming
I wanted to look away yet couldn’t seem to
was it a mirror or something familiar
like a stranger you swear you’d met before
the closer I looked the more it seemed like something new
it was me but not all the way thru
surprising at the least
shattering at its extreme
to not have a wall up
not to expect anything to look back from what had been shown
and to look into this mirror
and see a soul staring back with only small differences to my own
ill need aid untangling myself from this one
more unexpected this could not be
I cannot come closer yet I cannot flee
had I been ready id not be now questioning all I know
not to worry I’m good at pretending to ignore
what I shouldn’t
and paying close attention to what I shouldn’t explore
it seems I love to with myself... be at war
id be different if I could
for in no way can I lose control
its necessity so long understood
unless there was some fated reason to do so
little doubt that I am confused.. at a loss
yet to such sensations I’m no longer cold
and if I could be bold
one would find me easy to see, understand, taste
but turn from such a mirror I must in haste
before I am unable to withdraw
if I did not see such consequence and flaw
id find my voice in all the wrong
for my control is only so strong
but that would not be right
I can be so clever and turn around and be the fool
sometimes its impossible to keep anything hid
its true I tend to speak in code
when emotions are stronger than before
if what I say needs translation
just look right at me to know more
—C.R.S
2022
