Behind my fake smile
what its like to be sick but look fine on the outside
BEHIND A FAKE SMILE
I GET DRESSED UP, EXCITED TO GO OUT, MY HAIR IS PERFECT NOT A STRAND OUT OF PLACE.
I PUT BLUSH EYESHADOW, EYELINER LIPGLOSS ONTO MY FACE.
AS I CHECK IN THE MIRROR FOR ONE LAST LOOK, IF ONLY YOU KNEW THE ENGERY TO GET READY IT TOOK.
I KNOW WHAT YOU THINK WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME AND SEE.
HOW CAN SHE SAY SHE IS SO SICK WHEN SHE LOOKS JUST FINE TO ME?
I SMILE AND LAUGH JUST AS ALL OF YOU DO, BUT IF YOU ONLY KNEW THE DEEP FEELING OF BLUE.
THE TIRED, THE PAIN, THE SEIZURES THE FALLS. I WONDER ALL THE TIME WHAT I DID TO DESERVE THIS ALL?
ON THE WORST DAYS I WISH THE LORD WOULD CALL MY NAME.
TAKE ME TO A PLACE THAT I DONT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS HELLISH GAME.
I SIT AND I HIDE FROM THE WORLD AS I SHED MY TEARS.
I DESERVE A ONE OR TWO AFTER THE HELL MY BODY HAS ENDURED THROUGH THESE YEARS.
FAMILY AND FRIENDS, THEY WANT TO HELP OUT.
IF ONLY THEY KNEW WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO BE THIS BURDON WAS ALL ABOUT?
I LOOK IN THE MIRROR THE BRUISES AND BUMPS ONLY TO WONDER WHERE WILL BE THE NEXT LUMP.
I LAY IN MY BED WISHING FOR JUST ONE GOOD DAY.
AFTER A FEW HOURS IT ALL TURNS TO DISARRAY.
MY BODY IS TIRED, AS I AM TIRED OF THE PAIN.
PEOPLE SAY HAVE HOPE AND STRENGTH YOU WILL GAIN.
AS THE YEARS GO ON I THINK ABOUT BEING TOLD IM SICK THAT DAY.
I SAT THERE WONDEING, AS I STILL DO NOW,
WILL IT ALWAYS BE THIS WAY?
I’D GIVE ANYTHING TO BE MY OLD SELF AGAIN,
BUT AS IT LOOKS OF NOW, THERE WILL BE NO END.
THEY SAY GOD ONLY GIVES YOU WHAT YOU CAN HANDLE
DOES HE SEE THE LIGHT SLOWLY GOING DIM ON MY CANDLE
WHAT YOU DON’T SEE IS THE HELL I HIDE.
IN WHICH THERE ARE VERY FEW THAT PEOPLEI WILL CONFIDE.
JUST REMEMBER WHEN YOU LOOK AT A PERSON ANDWHAT YOU MAY SEE,
MAY BE THE SAME THINGS GOING ON INSIDE OF ME.
PAIN DOESN’T ALWAYS SHOW ON THE OUTSIDE,
YOU WOULD BE SURPISED WHAT A FAKE SMILE CAN HIDE
