I felt the feeling...
I really hoped that this time I would not.
I guess it’s always been here but if I felt the slightest tinge that it was near, I would turn and go the other way.
I would not stop until the feeling faded away.
Today it caught me off guard.
There was never a chance for me to have stood on.
It hit me so hard, I almost threw up.
It’s followed me around all day.
I hid in the bathroom but it waited for me patiently in the hallway until I had no choice but to come out.
I played music as loud as I could but I could not drown it out.
I dread the rest of the time that this feeling is going to be here, settled deep inside my chest, where my heart ticks unrythmatically in my bruised and aching chest.
Last time it lasted for 12 years and some.
I had finally gotten away from it.
Now it stares at me from the corner of this room watching me write this and it smirks because it knows that as long as we are together, I will provide it with my pain, sorrow, and a guilt and it will never starve as long as  I am alive and it is felt.