To myself.
Just a simple thank you. Thank you for guiding me. For always being there, waiting. Greeting me.
Take this. This gift. An escape. Ever silent, Ever painless.
There is no more pain, No more grief, Anger, Depression, Anxiety;
The love, The hatred, Going in circles. Like a train on set tracks, Around and around.
The peace you brought, It was misleading. Unknowingly, You sneak up, With your hypnotic dance.
Staying afloat, I’m ripped down again. Into the deepest abyss. With notice
48 years of beautiful life, ended. 23 years of knowing you, ended. 13 years of caring for you,
The words spoken By them. Knowingly sly and spiteful. So cold. So calculated.
Learning to swim Uncharted waters; The walls. Barriers, Built over years.
When you left, Your voice was always there. In the house, On the street. Everywhere.
Cowardice. Seeking comfort from chemicals. Not facing what I ought to face, Terrified. “..I was blind, but now I see..”
Venturing into the unknown. The mind stops, terrified. Yet; the heart pushes forward, ever curious and hopeful.
A lifetime given, To a life now taken. A love now silenced, Will be forever deafening.
Watching the world. Paper, Plastic, Celebrity, Religion.
Dull, Worn, Scratched, And torn. An antique soul,