I raise my eyes to the sky, by Laura Alaniz

I raise my eyes to the sky

The whole world

Aches and groans

Do you feel her pain?

The human in me

Wants to heal mankind

It has more wounds

Than I have Band-Aids

(2014)

Your enthusiasm exhausts me This coke is flat The bubbles disperse Leaving a sticky and sweet Aftertaste

My heart breaks A little each day For problems I can’t solve For things I can’t change All I can do is pray

I will be Forever in debt To my mother Any gift Would come up short

I had it all In my head And then I said Words I do not know which ones

The human heart ...leaps and jumps ...races and sings ...sighs and groans The treacherous heart can

Would I rather be A younger me? More productive Stronger Would i have to give up

If I could paint a man Eyes so dark they shine Brooding and stormy Til the smile breaks through If I could paint a man

Well-intentioned stranger Eyeing me limp through HEB Why would you ask If I stepped on a nail? How do you know

He says I could never Get away with murder For I leave Pieces of me everywhere

How do you measure pain? All is relative and personal Even with one’s own self It is impossible to compare As memory distorts pain

When I think of my mom I think of malt o meal muffins When I think of my dad Memories of a child Chasing us around the circle

Don’t talk down to me I am not a child! Even children Deserve respect

Restless As I lay in bed Trying to fall asleep These are my clues I might be low

You might know her As blonde eyes Or as the sister who bakes cookies But you see I don’t write this

The medication is not me But neither is the sickness it tre… You may hear its effects In my voice In my opinions