Aroused by thee, I misbehave, afire with lust while thou art coo… and thou then seem a microwave and I a zap-ped molecule.

Give Me More Light Give me more light I’m getting desperate here, you kn… show me what you’ve got is Ann Landers still around?

Sure, ask who died, and ask why J… Won’t have Brad’s baby, whom she’… Read how the princess slept with h… See Mary’s image on a slice of br… Get proof that so-and-so’s a murde…

Believing garbage cans are scandal… When battered, making us seem decl… My wife delivered firm commands, a… I threw away a garbage can today. And then a thrilling thought occur…

Academic Editors I hate the callow ones who think t… And have therefore the right to cr… I hate the ones who charge me twen… So I can try to win a ten-buck pr…

Thoughts on Cloning Someday the labs will make routine The methods used to clone me. But when my own’s an irksome teen I fear I might disown me.

The Bumblebee A tubby, grumbling matron, Concerned alone with duty, Fusses among the roses, Oblivious to beauty.

The Star See that star that now appears To glisten in the sky? It took perhaps a million years For it to reach your eye.

Argument from Design God’s antelopes have eyes placed f… And horizontal pupils, features th… Employ to see wide spans and speed… From lurking predators they’ve eas…

Vocations Envy those conjoined to function: ballerinas shopping in fifth posit… humming coroners ladling brains silent Harpo honking his horn

Football: This Sport is Too Muc… (With Apologies to Wordsworth) This sport is too much with us; da… Cheering and moaning, we cater to… Little we see but plays and then r…

Get meat, a gobbet red and rank, something gamy from a back-street… ring with bits of pork and lots of… with herbs for accents eastern; and finally steep in a fishy stock

God’s antelopes have eyes placed f… And horizontal pupils, features th… Employ to see wide spans and speed… From lurking predators they’ve eas… But carnivores, with eyes in front…