Letting Go
Letting go
An obsession that had consumed
My thoughts, dreams and heart
Letting go of that high
I had surfed upon since the spring
Weighing the highs
With the lows of
Rejection, stabbing pain, and aching loneliness
I had to let go
A love experienced so rarely
Hanging on
To crumbs of hope
Gathering relationship artifacts
From the ground
Had left me fractured
The Reality:
I had manufactured a connection
Tricked my brain
Raced my heart artificially
The Reality dug a hole in my chest
I sobbed quietly on the phone
With a sympathetic friend
A first step
Later, alone in the dark,
I appreciated the dull pain
My replacement
For a fantasy high
At least I felt something!
At least I was not numb
Living in a perpetual state of anesthesia
My existence
Before loving someone again
But, “Time heals all wounds”
Now the hole is closing
The memories fading
The pain dulling
The numbness spreading
Once again
I can’t feel my heart
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