I’ll leave you to you if that’s what it is..
Since you want to speak in code
I cannot understand
I want to
But free
It’s so frustrating to me to know means something
No no no
I’m bored of it.
It’s gotten pointless to me.
You think I’ve never seen your true nature
Get another hobby.
Whoever comes here
I just don’t care anymore
I should’ve told you long ago
I get nostalgic I write
But it don’t mean much more
You aren’t here so why should I ever care about you?
I’ve got to admit it’s been hard trying to.
You actually think I’m stuck hooked waiting?
Really?
How?
It don’t really matter
It’s just stupid
you hate someone
Want to destroy someone
Can find a way to do this crazy stuff every day
That’s not hate
But it never was was it?
But I’m bored of it.
I got better people than you I could give to.
I just come to write online sometimes.
But I’m losing the care.
It’s just I can’t compare
See it as a dare
And the hardest part is not easy
I quite simply don’t care
When you go down with the rest of them
I hear the names you call
I hear the things you say.
I know your real thoughts
If they weren’t real you’d have said so
I don’t got anything else
I really don’t.
It’s just done for me.
Starting today
I’m just bored but hope you got paid enough to do the loser
Stuff you did.
It’s half of my inability to see you
People like you I can’t fathom
You would rather I hurt you and you hate life and be unhappy than get out of a comfort zone
Or be around someone you talked lies about lies that were solid fake.
Even what you thought I didn’t know you heard was fake
I’m so serious
Little crazy I made you hear all that right?
Yea. I’m just bored now.
Always was.
I was trying for your sake
But did you think I sat and waited? You know I don’t even care to explain it anymore.’
you are too sure of yourself to believe I was never going to wait.

Busy signal ( calls)
Revolt (rebellion against control)
Blank (confusions and listless detaching because of unknown circumstances and where to go from there)
6th sense (love, missing, detaching wishing not to but surrender)
Inverted sound (surrender less hard, more resolute but still sadly)
The string (tension, distance, physical pain from being apart from someone)
Grecian departure (son killed in war so mother commits suicide, suicide is the theme)
Child of war ( obvious a child from war torn Europe, if something happened why didn’t you’d say? Why is this on top now? Who are you? Why are you trying to tell me something I don’t understand?)
The solution(addiction with no solution even though we have all tools we have to find the answers)
Friends to an end ( it’s known, friends is great but it would be the end of it)
To bluff ( bluffing about emotions and desires and possibilities but still not taking shit or wanting to deal with it... so bluffing before standing up, and walking away)
Demise of the white isle (actually about coke addiction and leaving it behind)
What does it mean?
Just those? Sometimes I see I read the titles and see it to mean something very sad ..
Why do that? Why try to cause any sadness? Am I wrong?!
Idk I just don’t get this.
It’s what blank is for.. can’t speak clearly then of course you mean harm and wish me all the things im told you do.. playing games and Im done... why
Does someone take the time just to bother me
I’ve watched this site for years I know when and when not someone is doin something.
This has never happened to this site until a certain situation. Then a year ago it got really crazy.. the titles switched all the time .. yet it was all at once without the page number goin up. It’s done by one or a couple people.
When I put something up real crazy.. and most of the time that’s on purpose about 10 people come at once.. because yes this stupid little group of my old work.. his weirdos and his family.. my family and a bunch of other idiots. I thought at first it was just taking things.. or having something to talk about .. it doesn’t seem particularly pointed .. I enjoyed giving people stuff to talk about..but then it started being someone that had to know him and I very well or be him.. now? Uh idk I can’t tell .. if it’s him then please leave me alone.. if you can’t talk plain then I don’t wanna hear it.. you could make a poetry site and message me.. don’t give me excuses on how and why you can’t say anything.. but it’s not him.. if it was he’d have somehow let me know even through these .. and uh idk child of war first? It makes no sense.. I’m just don’t with this crap... it’s insanity I’ve look this long but I like a puzzle I like clues .. but because it’s relentless and never gives any answers I’m just through.. I know about the Facebook ads.. I can see that .. my
Whole phone .. smh this is foolish crap .. if it was to make me oh so sad and hopefully push  me into some deathly sadness yea right.. that was never gonna happen.. I know yall needed it too but it was waaaay far off..its like yall are stupid... it’s never goin to happen... ever.. I know all about my siblings and what they’ve done.. it breaks my heart but I’ve got to do something.. but I know what they’ve done and I know all of you want me gone but see that was your mistake.. now you’ll really see how much I won’t just go... sorry yall had me wrong.
Vanessa
Vince
Victoria
Victoria wants me gone
Stephanie
Debbie
Amy Campbell
Has a camera
Break whos back?
Just disgust all around
Terrell
I was born there so what else happened there?
Someone need the asylum?
Or does the force there have someone I find highly suspicion
I know this is bigger than I pretend to  know
I keep
My
Mouth shut
But I’m sick of hearing of wolves
And I’m sick of hearing Ian
I’ve been hearing about him for 7 years.
I’m disgusted by whoever thought they could play in my space.
David
And Ina
Tell I won’t be taken down in any way
And im tired of saying it
How foolish do we have to to be
Are people blind.?
Someone set a fire I see
Masonry
How many times do I have to hear
The people are among me
How can You can believe this was ever the solution.
When you look back  or revisit such numbers of old men nvm memories
How do you see?
never again
Teach me how as I think?
You can’t
of course
never
but then some try?
forces me
To then see
I must finish something
Why does everything feel unfinished
I try to ignore and not understand
But no it’s always a dead end
What must I do to be finished
What it is that you haven’t done
If you were ever a person of anything meaningful
Ever something of value
Anything but anger and revenge and denial
You’d have simply said but instead.
Where are you?.!’
What am I?
What are you missing.
This desolation seems to have vines of life crawling within and the blooms whisper every time
Back to the first
Back to the first
You first
No but why does it do this?
You whispered I just want to end this.
Why?
It kills me because I’ve a right know as well as any but they say you can’t
All these people who run me
They all lose they have to know they are finished .. at the line ready.
My mother I think of her
She wanted to sleep
In here
Numb but I’m not
Not read for cutting it
I feel sure and despite the call
I wanna walk
leave it all
But ever certain
You gave up it’s why I have to set fire to the link
running harshly from me to you
But after I feel annoyance and
Then I think again always always think again
unfairly I see the words never again.
I know the check
Oh I know of the check
It’s getting stupid
I’ve checked and they will
Or what ill do they won’t expect
And I cannot
I want you to understand those words before you think to be the silent and forgotten
you cannot see this surely
I had just decided I despised the whole situation but those words always look back to something that says
I’m not finished telling this because I don’t
Have an end just yet.

Crs

I hope that sufficiently confused everyone..