Yet I use it all the time. The weather? Check my phone. The time? Check my phone. Calendar? Check my phone. How many people died today? Check my phone. It’s so exhausting. Everything has been reduced to the phone. The mobile phone. The “smart” phone. Yes, it’s smart. I’m smarter. It makes life easy. Too easy. What it doesn’t make easy is reading—thinking. Hundreds of impressions, bites of data are fed to you before you can even chew and swallow. You get stuffed on input, but your body, your mind doesn’t complain about it like your stomach does. We’re not programmed for this. I would throw out my phone. Throw it into the ocean, but then of course I’d go retrieve it immediately because that thing’s expensive and there’s enough synthetic garbage in the ocean. Yet if smartphones were to disappear tomorrow, like poof! it’s 2005 again; I would love that. I want a flip-phone that can text, call, and do a very rudimentary Google search. That’s it. If I need check the weather: read a newspaper, or even better, stick my damn smart head out the window. If I need to know something: go to the library. If I need to know which way is north, because why the fuck would I need to know that: get a fucking compass. I’m tired of this phone. Not the internet—well some of it. But once the internet was limited to the desktop computer, or at best, your chunky coal laptop. I despise the interconnectedness of everything. Kaczynski did not have a point but his sentiment is shared. Fuck smartphones. Long live bricks with antennas.